Sketches of life , confession .

I am . sick .

2010-10-11T06:54:00.000-07:00

hello.

I think i'm awesomely back on blog , since i've deleted my facebook account . Wait , i did not delete it , I deactivate it . I think i won't be using facebook anymore , since it will be no longer useful to me now . Seriously . I guess this is the first step that I will be taking , for now . i just need a change . Sighs .

What happened to me ? well .. I'm not sure . I don't even know what state am i in . Confusion . Ya allah please help me . The most huge enormous question that stucked in my head these few days is , 'What will i be when i grow up ?? ' its not like as in , 'What will i work as when i grow up ?" .. it is more to a ' What state will i be in the future ? a brat ? or someone who is religious ? ' . oh allah . please guide me to the right path . i'm in desparate need .

This month i've been doing a lot of crying . Allah is testing me . Ya allah kuatkan la iman aku . OMA , this year i'm super sensitive . i may smile , but i'm always crying . ya allah , forgive Our sins . amin

love ,
zee

After a long time

2010-07-17T23:44:00.000-07:00

hello .

Long winded .

I love .

BOO !

heyhey . its me agaaaaain . zee . today is sunday and i have nothing to do , seriously .
i want to tell something ! i think i will be happy again and as fun as ever ! lol . why ? cause i've found new ONE . hahah . k shdp.

so yesterday , was rusyidah's birthday , and of coz , party is a must !
er .. pictures ? my hp is malfunctioning ;(

after the small , princessy , pinky party , me and the angklunites had to go angklung . Angklung was as per usual , GREAT ! hah . especially a song called , Zapin Beradat . it feels like Jumping !

oh yes , we, angklunites has been Busy , cause next saturday , we have a performance , at( IDK where exactly , it was organized .) . The performance is due to the 'Bulan Bahasa' thingy . And this event is due to the Anugerah Guru Melayu .. something like that . and so we have to perform some traditional songs , and one of them is the Zapin Beradat song which i have just mentioned earlier . hah ! i'm extra-excited for this one cuz .. hey ? we angklunites has never ever played a traditional song ! okay . done from the angklung thing .

next that i want to touch on is about school . School has been , ermm . OKAY , i should say . except for some , problems , that i shall not elaborate it here . bleargh .

Life ? life has been SSUUUPER GREAAT ! huahuahua . why ? i . don't know ..*sacarsm* lol . love ? MUCH better ! muah .

okay thats all bout it for today . muah reaaaders , bye !

p/s : i love you .

Billboard

2010-05-27T02:14:00.000-07:00

hello .

Moving on .

Trying to deny messages that came in .

Shut Up .

###

so . hey .

currently at home . sitting . staring at the computer .
Tommorow , the day that will determine my fate(?) haha !
UGHH ! results will be out tommorow . what i'm saying is , my Mid year exam's resluts .
i am damn , very and extremely scared and nervous . why ? cuz like i said , i recieved unsatisfiying marks !
=.= ya allah , i hope i pass . make me pass , i;m begging . i want to pass ! psh . please . gotta start to buck up and start my revisions as soon as possible . i have to start by the third week of holiday . oh my . not enough , i have to go holidays , i'm running out of time ! i need time .

##

yay ! i love me . i love me . i love mee goreng ! .
okay lame.

Once upon a time ,
there is a princess and a princess , named Zefiora and Zulian .haha ! XD

hahah ! XD

moderate

2010-05-25T23:18:00.000-07:00

hello.

Today , has been great . well , not great actually . Did not go to school . and has got nothing to do at home . right . hanging out ? neh . not the type of person . Watched a korean Drama -My Girl . best ! but the parts suddenly stopped uploading halfway , and i failed to watch the whole drama . pffft . so here i am , writing an entry .

###

832839417. no sape uh ? it popped up on my phone's screen . signalling that there's a message came in. pfft . asking wierd questions . ugh . so wtv .

tommorow - eh almk ! amirah , nisa and zubs goin Japan ! hahah , oma , take care guys . dont forget me ! haha . ka dah tu je bye .

You name it

2010-05-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

naked face . =.=

hello.

best friend oh best friend

i hate you ,

i wish you know . i wish you know what's inside here .
i wonder why , i wonder how could you do this to me .
i need you , i need a hug .
i need a peck on my forehead , and i'm gonna be fine .

dear bestfriend , i want to meet you now . where are you ? where are you ?
oh you're asleep , wake up , dear . wakeup . i need you now .
i woke you up just wanna tell you that i love you .

#### haha .

hey . see that passage(?) up there ? yea . no copyrights yea . haha for someone who declares him/herself as my bestfriend . bleargh .
so today , i felt extremely bored in school . Recieved unsatisfied marks , heck . i hate school . plus exams . psh . but , what should i do ? go with the flow . get my sit heat up for such looong hours . until my butt hurts . still , it doesnt change the situation at all .i hate school . pffft .

i love people in school . especially******** . hee ^^ . and all my friends in class . bleargh . ohh . and also teachers .

i love home . home is the place for me to rest . i love nights . nights is the moment where i get HYPERACTIVE . haha . I love anything and everything .

so bye ! i'm sleepy .

p/s : i love amirah bte sanusi and **** ******** .

gahaha

2010-05-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

grabbed from atiqah and aisyah's ring .taken by me !

LALA . hah . hello peeps .

well . actually . i . don't . know . whatta . say . pfft .

" i said i don't want an another half but i need a full one , to combine with my heart , understand my feelings and live the life . I want an another half , but i want to do anything i want . and i shall let you do anything you want '

heish .

i think i fell in love , i miss him just like -so .

i'mma break down , and shatter into tears .

i think i'm goin eemo .

gosh , i'm a freak to these kind of things . i can't stand on my own legs . i have no concrete backbones to hold me up . i need help . SOS !

psst . 50 bucks gone , given to loved one . . *what a lame statement i've just made*
oh . heh . ust A . i've just figured out tht he's too cute when he is sick . haha . seriousity . espicially when he said " naa-'am " haha. ust ku cute peh . heh . even someone from 2/1 agrees . lol .

oh so yeah , currently i'm inlove with my own bestfriend *you know i know ! haha * , shhesh .
BORED ? join the club uh . hah ,

oh haa ! i almost forgot that today is the-most-binget day . there's this one guy in the mrt , sitting right beside me . Then suddenly , i felt something that bothered my shoulder . PSSST . it was tht guy's head , leaning on my shoulder like nobody's business . and guess what ! he WASN'T asleep . pfft~ . so pissed off that i made him shock (yay) . I quickly stand up from my sit and gave him a sharp stare . then he made this face of " sorry+puppy eyes" . pshh ! . who the hell do you think you are ? leaning on my shoulder as if i'm one-free-pillow to lean on . for goodness sake seh . oh it goes like this :

me : eh ! i'm a girl , and you know i have respect for ya !
the guy : i'm soooory .
me : you better be ! *i almost punched him*
theguy : SORRY ! (i saw tears, gagahaha)

###

Done .

2010-04-13T02:43:00.000-07:00

&& your smile that can light up this whole town .

******

gahs . hello .

finally , i can fit myself into some comfy area at the corner of the house . hmm .

okay . as exams will be right-round the corner , i will also have to take the step . The step to back out and buck up . back out from the computer and buck up on my studies . yessssssss , i know , i know my words just cnt be taken seriously . but , i WANT to try okayy . heish .

pray for me people !

so yeah , yesterday an incident happened , wont elaborate . bla bla . today , nothing happened except for we , the whole secondary and pre-u level , got released from school earlier . 'Cuz the teachers are having their learning journey . yay ! heh . nothing to be happy about . okay so i think i'm done for this entry . bleargh !

(judge yourself)

2010-04-10T06:48:00.000-07:00

heys .

hmm . okay recently , i dont know what is wrong with me in particular . but . i'm being a stress-took-over girl i guess . hish . i just hate it . innocent people got scolded by me , i'm just ... harsh to myself .

okay . thts it . whats here , ends here . so dont Drag .

Today .

recieved an urgent call from UstzhF yesterday, requesting me to inform the SecTwos in the ensemble that TODAY , we must perform at Muis for their biggest and most important meeting . so yeah , yesterday , did our emergency training for the performance . gedebak-gedebuk . habes jugak . yay ! oh ya so today , the performance was perrrrfecto . haha . most clean-كما قال cekgu dzull . phew . accept that i must still learn how to smile on stage . lol . i'm LAACKK of smiling when on the stage and all eyes glued on the ensemble . wooh . oky , initially , i hve no big problem when it comes to the stage , but with smiling ? nope . not for me .i have a huuuge problem when it comes to smile . nehh no matter wherever i stand , i won't smile. not that i don't want , i just ... can't . you know .. i can't . hahahah .

haha . a very tiring day . wokeup in the morning just like going to school . 7.30 must reach the auditorium . heck , i did not manage to come on time ! hah . well . what to do ? sorry . so . bla bla bla , show ended . and headed straight to Bishan Interchange with Rusyidah and Amirah sh . Got hook up to Junction8 and then loiter around . okay , the reason why we loiter is because ,we need to spend 2-3 hours , and then head down to school for the LAST training BEFORE Mid year exam starts . so ... today we had our last training , sad seh . oh ya so , the shops were still closed , so we go0-makan at Pstamania . kecohrable-ism . pstu ... after around 2 hours there , we went to Bugis to find something tht we did not have any plans yet to find*what kind of sentence is that?*. blablabla , tired , Syidah treated us ZAmZAm . wooohoo . thx girl .

blabla . went to training . aft training , went to Mdm hidayu's crib as her daughters were celebrating their birthdays . ahah . Cute-ness . k dah tu je .

p/s : PARIS(love)

Thursday , 250310

2010-03-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

hellloooooo once again .

i am superrrr borreed . haha . thx thx thx for the memories (?)

Saya , Sayyidah Zainab Bte Ahmad Shamsuddin , here by clarify that i will always be mingle until ______ take me as his wife(? jst kidding) . Also that I will hear and take the order of what my husband demanded me to do for him only wherever and whenever he asks me to . I promise to be faithful to my husband and be loyal to him throughout my whole life with him and until i meet him in jannah . AAmin .

wwwaaait . wth am i talking about ???? heish . ape aku mepek . eh tkmo take it to the heart eh ape aku bbl yg kat atas tuu . I myself didnt realise what i'm talking about . I dont even have a husband yet , not qualified yet to be a wife ! oh my . that was just a dream . but i hope it will be true one day when i got married with someone i know he is special . DUhh . cuz his my husband . WWAIT . why am i strted planning for my future ? hheello ??? WAKE UP girl . i havent even took my Os nor even reach 18 ! hey hey hey zee !? what are you doing ? ok i'm officially bored , i repeat . haha . dats why you saw craps all over the post . yea , i know . its the only way to make my post longer . Veryvery Bad strategy i have . lol . see ? ape je zee . penat tau .

okay actually , i'm ver very stress . i got stressed whenever my head strts to TWANG . ugh penat la . project sane , sini . homework belambak . tpi ya allah , aku kene bersyukur no matter what happens . BUILT the SPIRIT zainab ! aha . oh ya , stress tau my life like miserable . *sabar* adelah sebab die . tkkn nk bilang kat sini kan , giler or what ? hah tau pn . pe je . everyday kat class mcm nk tido . eish ! trying my very best to widen my eyes everytime it gets blurr and closing in the end , BOOM ! tetido . why uh ? ngntk seh . like , nothing fun to do . i just hate school stuffs to be honest , except for the fun ones . everything i do its like i'm benig forced to do so . Today , i felt like my head has a rock behind it stucked together with it . Beraaaaat i tell you . sakit , berat , mabuk . Subject : nahu . Topic : adad . GILs ah ! adad da lah mabuk , tmbh aku peyh kepale mabuk . heish . cobaan . ya allah , help me . tapi , bukan utk nahu jer aku ngntk , sume subject aku ngntk . apehal ni ? pe cite ? uh ? uh ? hallamaaaak . heh . pe jer . kk la yay ! da ngntk . i noe i noe . i should rest and shut the computer off . i should go to sleep . AND ! cut all my crap i've been talking about off . yes yes . on the way . relax okay , i'll cut it . so yeah , BYE ! ^^.

p/s : i'm loving you , with all my heart .

Dear Life .

2010-03-25T08:01:00.000-07:00

" Posses a smile that could make me melt"

Hey Jo .

Lately , i've been feeling the sense of love , the sense of touched and the sense of impressed . why ? because someone made me feel special . Hah , who ? i'm not sure yet . lol .
i know i know , EMO rite ? whatever . i am but not all the time .

Ok so yeah , life's been great lately except for 3 piles of projects to be done and alot-of-tiring work to do . oh ya ! and alot of assigments . heish . Soft launch for Angklung's album went well . Its time to look foward to the official launch of the album . what's the purpose of it ? i dont know . oh well . i think its just .... ok i dont know .

Honestly , i have NOTHING to post about . but i just felt like writing . I just felt like typing a lot of words . i just felt like working ya noe . eeeeew . gross !

haha . not funny .0h ya , i fell in love with amirah sanusi like , randomly . i just felt heaven *faries* . Ya allah , strenghten my iman ! aamiin .

i wish i wish with all my heart . to take you back to be my prince . i wish i wish with all my heart to accept whoever you are by all it means .

ASQ journey camp , ilove you .

2010-03-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Blo ,

3 days in camp teached me ALOT of things that i should have known earlier , also that i have to be careful of . oh and yes , fun ties up everything perfectly . from the first journey to know our parents to the very last journey to know our aim in our lives .
"ya allah , pls forgive me , ya llah pls !" dats the phrase tht was lingering inside my heart ever journey i went through .
This ASQ camp isnt like any other normal camp i've been through . this camp , is a really , an open-eye experience camp .

Tears , tears , tears . of course they existed and rolled down and wasted . well , of course not wasted , i mean let down throughout our long journey .

from knowing our parents to knowing rasullullah s.a.w , to knowing allah s.w.t , to knowing allah's gifts to knowing our aim in our lives . the feel of insaf lay down in ever campers' heart , and i am very sure of it .

okay , enough of the long introduction .

yay ! duepulohsen menang best group ! woohoo . best camper female : nurul iman . bet camper male : muhd danish danial .

okay lol . tetibe group aku menang .

wooohoo . best giler oiksss camp nie ! " demi matahari .. dan sinarnya di pagi hari ... " " tangan di depan , ke belakang , depan belakang dan goyang kan ! " hahah ! best tau joget joget , oh and the sweetest is , bile kene hug kakak2 , kene kiss sume . AND AND ! tgk sunrise kat marina barrage !! woohoo . subhanallah . subhanallah ! hadiahhadiah ! hahahah ! . ok asl aku hyper ? sbb , best giler !!! hehehehe .

oh ya , we recieved a letter , indeed , its so special and really touching . it was being read by ustz saiful adli while we campers were hugging the facis .

assalamualaikum w.r.b ,

saya ingin mengucapkan syabas kepada seluruh ahli camp ASQ ini , yang telah berjaya menjalankan ia dengan lancar , syabas kepada trainers dan facis kerana telah menjaga adik2 menengah dua . ...........................(tk ingat)
kepada para pelajar menengah dua ,
saya ingin meminta maaf jikalau saya ada membuat sembarang kesilapan terhadap kamu semua .
saya sudah pun memaafkan kamu semua . belajar rajin-rajin dan banggakan orang tua mu . jangan lupa doakan saya . I love you .

yang ikhlas ,

ustazah anggeraini .

awww ! i cried so much man . i didnt realise tht was actually form our form teacher ! she's sooo loving and touching seh . well , i felt like crying right now . ustazah ! i love you too ! aww .

okok enough . overall , the camp was really(to the power of infinity) GREAT ! yes! i give you my word .

i hope , and reaaly reaally hope that tis camp will be conducted again this year ! ya allah , amiin .

she's back .

2010-02-27T23:20:00.000-08:00

peeeeeeepos .

lame eh i tk update ? biase lah . busy women . lol XD . apologies . apologies .
ok . so now . bck to blog . and ....

ok so . school . baek punye . i love ! life , biase jugak . still on the roller coaster . love , hmmmm . maintain . lol . dnt guess eh . happiness , i love my girlfriends , i love everybody ! ok . haha . STOP .

rite . a lot of things happening lately . and yeah , i mean it . From peace , to war to peace again , to jealousy ,to conflict , to fun , to miss to love and ALOT . i tell you ^^ , haha . i wont elaborate all of them aite ? since its ALOT . haah

ok . so . here i am , miss sayyidah zainab bte ahmad shamsuddin , stating that her level of boredom increases to the mark of .... EXCEED ! . che lame per .

oh ok so yeah , as you can tell form my words , i am bored . and this is the most ultimate reasons for me NOT to blog . becouse when i blog , i have nothing to say . wee !

oh .

P/S : i'm havng a toothache now , not exactly TOOTHache but .. gumache . swollen cheeks . tembam oit . hahah

2010-01-08T01:45:00.000-08:00

I really learned a lesson this time . Dont trust on a person too much even if he/she is really close . for that , i'm sorry . i dont think i can trust him again .

screech .

2010-01-05T03:26:00.000-08:00

today's awesome . started getting assigments frm tchrs . good good news ! okay . well actually i'm lying ya know . i hate assigments . but what to do ? you must like something that you hate then you'll sucsess . i cnt be lazing around sloppily , very very hard to get this mind focus on studies . cause holiday's over and i have to get back to work . okay . wtv

left the room at an exact of quarter past 2 . i'm so happy that i'm able to leave earlier than the others ! good thing it was mathematics . i got a very good exact timing to escape . hah . where did i go ?? nope i didnt skip . how to skip ? aftr a long stretch of time studying , then now i want to skip ? so selenge . I have an appoiment with the school dentist near outram . As i walked down the aile proudly , ... knowing that i'm the lucky person that can only went home early , i thought to myself " people , look . i'm having an appoiment with a hot client !" haha . crazy ? i know . i'm just kidding . but seriously . i do wish like that just now .

Upon arriving at the waiting area for my number sequence to be called , i strated to hear my heart beating rushingly . whats wrong with me ? i felt . i sense that somethings gonna happen . okay . so when my number appeared on the screen , i quickly when inside the dental room . 6 ! room 6 ! oh . how lucky . i love thhe multiples of three . hah .

so da masolk . dudok kat kerusi turon-naek tuh . pki goggles . and this one lady masok . check sane sini, skali ade satu lelaki chinese ni masok . check check , he's hot . and very baek . hahah ! mesti uh . nmpk org hot , burok apape pon tk nmpk . sheesh . gigi aku makin lame maken saket dibuatnye . screech sane screech sini . kaki aku smpi tenaek2 ! sii lelaki hot tuh tolong bgi aku vacuum air darah yg belambak dlm mulot aku . ahh so sweet ! abeh every time air jatoh je , de lapkan . hahah ! happy . ntah ape si pompan tu buat ntah kat giigi aku pon ku tktau . tsktsktsk . si lelaki tu jugak tau yg tolong . at last aku tgk mirror ape beza ntah .
abeh nak balek , lelaki tuh ckp bye . abeyh kite shake hands . aww . hope to see ya again nxt time .

k aku ape kene tetibe suke chinese guys ? tapi mmg de hot ape nk buat , and since when i'm being so hyper like this ? ugh . crap crap crap . mainan setan jerh .

astaghfirullah .

k ciao . byebye

Dear School ,

2010-01-04T04:30:00.001-08:00

Its time . Its time for me to put my whole guts in the game , i mean the studies .
Get ready . and GO !

che . what crap am i talking about ? what only*strtbroken* .
hmm . first day of school . as usual , the screaming and the normal freakouts " AAHH ! ZEE ! lame tk Nmpk !*hughug*"
. like as if i've just arrived at the airport frm pilgrims . hah . but nevertheless , its refreshing to see someone freaks out when they saw you . like , obviously , we miss each other . heheh . Of course i also freaked out the moment i saw my usual babes ! du-uh . Freshies and New faces were seen in the crowds . yea , so busybody to know their particulars and whatever not . And yeah ! the new secondary ones , seems to be so super damn cute ! idk why . but they seemed so cute ! hahaha .

And whats the first day of school without a Spot Check ?? yea . they'll never miss it yaa . the boys , Hair la of course and their attire . Girls ? Wristband ! duh . and long pants . hah .
like police already . but cool whhat ? very disciplined students have bright future . insyaallah . amin . i just hope that the whole school is very well disciplined at the end of the day . So everyone can respect each other faithfully .

Surprisingly , the classes' name had been changed into a new one . eg. frm secondary 2/2 to secondary 2B !
ohmy . i still have the problem to say 2B in arabic . so AWKWARD .
ugh . asal laa tukar . kelakar tau tak ?
buku da letak sec 2/2 . ugh . kene tuka lagik !

recess time . yay ! the fun part . okay . actually nothing fun . except for getting to see the crowd bck in the canteen . i mean , the whole secondary level to be on the same deck . yay ! especially when you get to see someone you miss for a long whole stretch of time . hahah ! ya know i know .

so people . the first day of school is fun , of course . study for like a little bit of things . then ciaow .

k skrg aku nak ciaow . bye

Ohg .

2010-01-03T02:29:00.000-08:00

"why did you ask who disturbed me ? why ? oh and thanks . you saved my life . ly "

oh i just cant stand it . the cell's light keep blooming , trying to signal that there's someone trying to get on the line . Do i have ta ? i dont think so . oh no . not anymore .

if i have ta make ya suffer . if i have ta make ya regret . and if i have to call somebody to make ya injured , i will . sorry , if ya wont stop .

hmmm . what am i talking about . recently . someone saved my life from the sitauation you can understand above . IF you can EVEN understand what i wrote . oh sheesh !

hello ? cnt you see i'm having a headache and a problemm down here ? ugj . i have three diff kinds of problems . one is about my cell stalker . two about this one girl . three about missing this one boy . ugh . and againn , i still cnt find the solution ? yea . i know i'll find one . somebody has to help me ? and somebody have tried helping me . thx . you really made me feel better and boost up my confidence .

leklek suda eh . i've met someone worse . haha .*strt mepek*

wtv la . actually . i'm frustrated and felt irritated with someone . (!!!)
i know i'm kinda being unreasonable . yes . call me like one . BOO . i;m not okay . i'm not telling and elaborating the whole story . i wrote this bcz i need a place to let go everything inside this heart . and i'velet it out . so i'm done talking here ! .

tata, ly

whats wrong with me ?

2010-01-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

i dont know why but i cant stop crying.
i'm sorry . i just dont want to start off my 2010 with tears . but i just cnt resist it . imiss somebody . this someone that makes my life meaningful and no one could replace him . i know imma kinda freak to say this but its just the feelings tht i couldnt hide . whats wrong with me ?? i dont know .

imma haveta stop . ugh . i couldnt . what should i do ? yes . call me a freak . call me a despo .
as if you have never feel it before . oh shut up . dont talk crap .

i realise this when one day i dreamnt abt him and woke up feeling tht i had lost a person . and infact , knowing that i HAD really lost that person . oh god pls . calm me down . send my regards . i just dont have any idea of how to tell . how ? god , pls . i really do . and guess what ? i need him now . honestlty , i need you too .

p/s , ily .

chic

2009-12-26T02:19:00.000-08:00

hey peepsss .

Went to SPCA just now , for the second time ! yay . the kittens are so cute and damn playfuul . wait . you must be wondering why i went there rite ? nope , not for adopting any pets . its just to strengthen my love for cats and dogs . haha .

Abg Umar , Naff , Akif , Nisa*a friend of naff* and Fyqq , followed as well . And ohmy , fyqq's fingers were bitten and scratched all over by cats . pity . buttt nehh . she's okay . used to it . ape takk nyer . 16 kucing kat rumah seh .And die paleng semangat . goody girlfriend . mak kuching hahah . photos? soon .

Off to Banquet @ JP aftr that . Banmian Noodles was my choice to eat and Chicken rice for fyqq . The others , same as me , i think . hah .

finish munching , We window Shopped around Jurong point . UHUH ! a bag caught my eyes . it was so chic and pretty gorgeous . green and flawless*thts what fyqq says since it is green and her favourite colour . then naff started to point out on that bag TOO and said she wanted to buy it . oh so i had to give in to her and let her buy it . Nope ! not at that time , NEXT time . hehehe . didnt bring money leh . heheh .

Its a great trip after all day long . get to hear bi dos bark loudly . lol . but serious seyh . the police dog is SUPER biseng and full of attitude , hhaha . try ah . its open for public tau .

k ciao uh be . oh and FYQQ ! next time pegi yg kat pasir ris pye kay ? hahah . oh and i wanna hear stories kau lagi sa . lom habes . sine lame tk jumpe . heh

k bye peepos

The Clutter In Mind .

2009-12-23T22:47:00.000-08:00

" A lot of things running in my mind , i wonder how i can clean it up . "

A week to go till school reopens . And yeah , the stress will haunt back again . like - ABSOLUTELY ? Uhuh .
Havent bought books yet . UGH . now that the stress comes up . haha . okay , enoughe zee , enough of the School thing .

Bla Bla Bla . The scene of MKI that day is still running in my mind . Still cant get it off ! gosh . how could i ? well its attached already to my heart . and the answer is FOREVER . lol .

Finally .

2009-12-20T01:10:00.000-08:00

jealousy ! ugh i'm a big fan of alhafiz(flute guy) jgak keh !

finally , Malam Kebudayaan Islam III has ended . its a happpy plus sad thing i should say . happy , cause all the hard work and overtime training has been a fruitful outcome for the concert . sad , cause when will i be able to meet all the musicians , and when will i be able to train and practice together every angklung sessions with them again ?? question mark . all the trainings leaves a lot of wonderful memories , that i'm scared to erase . sad thing i didnt snap a picture with them except for only an artise , Apit (Baron Bros)[!!!] .

The Nite : Family and cousins came to support me , except for my parents and granny . quite sad maa . show was great , with the sling of the flute(!!) , guitars , piano and alot of other instruments . It started at 8.00pm and ended at 10+ . blablabla . reached home around 12 .

Suddenly i heard that its time for mummy to go for her school retreat the next day , which is today . which means i didnt have a chance to elaborate the experience on the 50 feeet stage with her . *sadness* .

Slept at around 12 plus . aftr subuh today , i heard my mummy's voice whispering to me " Dek , mama jalan dulu" . and then she kissed my forehead . I grabbed her hand and kissed . and then waved at her . WITHOUT eyes open . Meaning that i wouldnt be able to look at her face for the last time before she left . *tears rolling* .

when i think of that , i started to cry and wonder , why am i such a baby ? left by mum for a few days and started to feel lonely . shhoot ! well , being kissed at the forehead is a constant action that mums always do . but not everyday for me OKAY . lol .

nevertheless , she's gonna be back after three days . Yes , just three days . LaughLaugh . i've gotta stay strong yea ? LALA peepos . bye

Headache . Busy . Tired . Nervous . Happy . Excited . Enjoy . everything nice .

2009-12-17T22:09:00.000-08:00

Yes , thats the heading for this week .

16 december 09 : Just went bck frm Holiday in Thailand , plane landed on 5.40pm and went straight to school for angklung practices which started at 7.30pm and ends at 10pm . YES , 10pm . great huh ? from bugis to jurong . imagine peepos .

Everything in one :
Holidays been fun and exciting , Angklung practices have been fun , exciting , tiring . Nevertheless , cikgu Dzull(arranger and my music conductor) paints the whole picture nicely . He fixed the time well . and gives us a rest for today . Since we've been practicing ages ago(sebenarnye tk ages la) . Tommorow's the BIGBIGBIG day . tommorow's MKI3 's concert . make sure to come ! support us k ?? . thx .
Angklung. day by day . practice by practice , it gets more and more interesting . first , 1 organ comes in . then two . then the rabanna and percussions . then flute , three more organs , electiric guitar (yup , electric guitar) , bass , violin, DRUMS(thewhole set !) , and artises ! , and Food ! (okay , i said this because i'm damn hungry everytime there's practice , plus . i'm hungry now) . AND EVERYTHING nice .

ok lol . too much of angklung . okay thailand is a busy city at night . Perhaps i think they'll consider " the night is still young" yea ? hahha . A lot of tough-rough things i did . i mean , me and my family . Eg. River rafting , ATV ! Island hopping , Snorkelling .Rock Climbing(the real one okay) and alot more . gerek tau ! pegi uh thailand . heheheh .

ok . i'll rest for now . wanna stop membebell-ing , tata !

p/s : bestie , try hard . you'll sucsess .

sitting in a bush .

2009-12-05T19:22:00.000-08:00

heys .

"Bush isnt always a rite place to sit in it or live in it . duh . cuz it has thorns an busy bushy leaves . "

thats just exactly the way i am living now .

for some reasons , i just cant stand it . lol .

the thorns just poke me at every angle . the leaves just stuck on my hair like they dont care . the thin-thin branches just tickle me everywhere . and of coz , i hate it much . i felt irritated and angry . i'tll turn me to a grumpy mood. thats how i'm feeling rite now . but nobody knows . who's the leaves ? who's the thorns ? who's the branches ? What is the bush ? . make a guess .

*******

today , woke up in the morning , feeling very tired . mumma shouted at me to wake up , and said " nak ikot mama ke tak ni !? " and i shooked my head . she was really furious at me . i dont know why . lol . just bcoz i tak temnkn? hah . funny or what . then she shut the door . pastu bukak balek and said , " jalan ngn kwn no .1 ! " lol . no 1 ? tk pena aku dpt klua ckp no .1 . hahah . funnneh . lol . laugh ah . see ? nobody nobody nobody nobody nobody . knows whats inside . dont just shot and aimed exactly at my heart . klaka uh mamma .

actually the plan for today is going for a picnik with some paternal relatives . but the plan had been cancelled due to some family emergencies . some constant emergencies . lol . dats why mumma ajak gi ikot de . tpi ku mls .

k dah ah . bye . actually tkde mood nk blogg .

Hmm .

2009-12-03T21:22:00.000-08:00

chiill . take a break .

*what ?! senang nye terpikat ! she sounded like an ustazah . so lembut .

k . aku bbl psl sape seh . guess uh . haahh . k . no gossips .*

lol. kk. chill , minom kopi secawan , bace surat kabar ,bukak kipas , dudok kat balcony rumah . hmmm . close your eyes .

then , sleep .

when you wakeup , you'll feel relaxed and very relieved . no tensed feelings , no anytghing . this will work when your mind is ready to throw the unwanted memories and stress from the busy streets in the city , i mean , in life . even if you know you have a lot of work to do , put down the pen , and do the method . you'll be more concentrate when you awake ! if you're cooking , make sure you have finished whatever you are doing before you take a break . coz when you woke up and you leave the food like that , it will ended up burning your kitchen !

try it out !

lets built castles in the air !

2009-12-03T06:38:00.000-08:00

chill .relax .lets take a break

hmmm . seandainye . aku ade super power mcm mutant2 dlm crite X-men tu , kan best . boley buat interesting things . hah . boley rule the world . buley maen2 kan org , boley save the planet dri professor clone * amcm ley pegi crite cicakman lak ?* .

lol . gue bored seh . naseb ade org jgak yg nk entertain aku . haha . thx yea .

seandainye aku buley hypnotise org and i'm a phychic . woohoo . best nye . haha . giler sa .

da a . bye . bored at home . dd suggested to participat in some activities . but .. i'll see .tata

haha .

2009-12-01T19:46:00.000-08:00

"Watched twice , Cried twice " . hah . its never a joke . its always a romance . well , i'm talking bout korean dramas ya . not about myself . cmon . i'm not being Emo . hah . crap .

tkdekeje . boring . webcam uh abeh .

25 november 2009 : went to schl for angklung lesson . kambing arrived and it was super dmn smellay . god knws haha . aftr that , fetched ddy and off we went to amirali's grill for birthday treat + umar's sucsess' treat + alawi's first day work's celeb . haha . great dishes . i cnt finish . nenek mkn speghetti ape bnde ntah , and she ate smangat antare bangse oi , die yg habes . haha .oh ya ! we ate mixed kebab with turkish rice and creamy mushroomsoup . nicenice .

26 november : sleepover at GM .

27 november 2009 : Hari Raya Aidil Adha ! haha . aftr solat raye , waited foor cuzzies to come . but it was too long until muumma recieved a call from nokia servicce centre , saying that her fone is ready to be fetched . So me and mumma rushed down to parkway parade where the centre is located . yea .. from GM to PARKWAY PARADE . cool or what ? hah . cuz she needs it desperately . so yea , nenek reminded us to buy a cake to celebrate my bdae together although it was already 'belated' . hah . blablabla . cuzzies came ,, cutcut sing here sing there snapsnap photos . as usual . 3 person celebrate , but one cake . yes , three person . the november babies . adam , auntyrohana , and ME . yay ! lol . so aftr that , went to my wawa's house at wdlnds . blablabla . tlktalk , story story . and thats it .

so .. itu je lah yg aku igt roughly eh . the three dates . yg laen , tk igt . hah . budoh .

CIAO . zee

SHIT AGAIN .

2009-11-22T22:20:00.000-08:00

Ell-0w .

huhuu .freakyy emo . yes , 'vebeen emo-shit kinda mood these days . lol . nevertheless , i'm still standing strong on this thing which is 7 times smaller than the sun , called earth . hah . creepycrapps . haha . BOO !
2 days .. AND here comes where the day i was borned , 12 years ago (?) . rite .i'm still 12 . MUDE la katekann .hmm

Trying to bare with the facts these days . The fct tht these few weeks' coldcoldcold weather . The fact that i have to go to the toilet a-LOT-of-times . The fct that my birthday is coming . The fct tht i have to bare with the atmosphere of just having to sacrifice A-LOT-OF-THINGS . but nehmind . idntmind sacrificing .bleahs=P . well actully .. i do mind . if i dont , why do i have to bare with the fct and struggling by having to bare with it ? . BUT ! sriously , i have to-dont-mind . looking on the positive side of what we labelled as "life is so complicated" . oh whatever . and i'm sighing right this second . All wanted is to make everyone happy in this world . so all we have to do is sacrifice . bleahs . thats my secret theory . now tht its not a secret anymore . (-.-)

WHT on earth am i talking about at the above paragraph ??! ugh . talking emo + shit . ignore me pls? . officially mendakk skrg . so bbl shittaye . haha . I JUST WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW THAT i love my FRIENDS and GIRLFEESand evry special thing on global earth , ok .. shit again . but its actually the fact , but random . ya know , i know . aahhhh ! mendak keper ? . mendak lh abeyh .

busy busy busy .

2009-11-21T22:04:00.000-08:00

heys .

have been very busy lately - intensified angklung practices and preparations for MKIII . Preparations for nextyear's studies . ANND just recieved my exam results ! ugh . dropped . this extended my time for studies . lol .

now , talking to bbyfyqq , she's confessing and whining all along . pity CAAAT. haha . 14 november , her birthday . celebrated , HAAPPIlY . 18 november , amirah shahirah's bdae ! sry didnt give you presents . 23 nov . badrina's bdae ! hppy bdae bby . 25 nov ..... MY BDAE !!! hah . not celebrating .

november babbys are so bonding . hahah .

thinking of forgetting someone i love . but dunnoe how . hmm . somehow i feel lonely and regret . but ... who cares ? neh . -.-

Time .

2009-11-17T01:20:00.000-08:00

hellows .

life has been fun , everything's great . except for the unrepaired computer back there down the garage . using daddy's lap top .

Yesterday :
went to sentosa with the whole of sec ones and SL . it was awesome , espeacially the luge and skyride . haha ! balek , went to KFC and saw one cool-hot guy british, his name is thomas . took pictures with him .. and went off . yes ! . hha

till here . not much to write . i'm off to IMM now . bybye !

muahxz ,
ZCQ

Expression .

2009-11-09T20:43:00.000-08:00

HEAVY LIPS to say i'm sorry.

Dear god , i reaally miss my bby nabilah .its been a long time since we talked to each other . ugh . how could this be ? well . i dont know . everything screwed up . gosh i miss her .

Whats here in mind .

2009-11-02T23:54:00.000-08:00

EVERYTHING WE SHARED .

The last exam just left few hours ago . and i 'm quite excited to welcome the holidays . Unfortunately , i didnt have a glimpse of place to show it . Celebrate the day of joy , me , together with atiqah and her usual gang , have a party , small i should say . Well , i had a huge fun just now . But i know it would be much much fun with the presence of my girlfriends there .

Today , i was all time quiet , knowing that i have nothing to say . I know being quiet and alone wasn't really a good idea cuz people would thought you are unfriendly . But i have nothiing else to do besides beiing quiet and alone .

######

" Have you ever think that i am missing you ? i miss your smile , your laughter and the calming voice of yours . Have you ever think of whose shoulder i need to cry on whenever i'm down ? Yes , i know . I know very well that i always and always hide a thousand things from you . I have a reason behind it . If this fight drags , i'm afraid that i have to lose you . Which of course , i never wanted that to happen . Do you know that every tiniest second that i live in my life these days , i think about how to get along with you back ??? Did you ever think of that ? I'm sorry if i hurt your feelings which i may really have to IN THE FIRST PLACE , but all i ever wanted for you is to get back your happiness . i'm tired of your cries and that is the reason behind all this GAME . well , i know that sounds quite bad , but again , hearing your cries makes me feel that you really have to get all your happiness back .
It crushes me alot whenever i passed by you , and i never have a chance to see your smile , neither of me having a chance to smile back at you . I really have to hold my tears whenever that feelings came . Do you think i'm happy without you by my side as the any usual days before ? NO ! of course not . Yes . Yes . Yes , my ego always rule my mind that i cant forgive you in the first place . but after awhile , i realised you are the fillings of my life . yes , you are everything . You really cared for me , which i'm really amazed by that . Actually , i appreciate that but i just dont know how to show it . You have to understand , i dont know how to show my feelings ! All this while , i just felt that i'm wearing a mask . A mask which doesnt show the true expression i'm feeling . I may look at you but didnt smile or rolled my eyes , but you may never know whats inside my heart .
Its true that some of your attitude or your actions doesnt satisfy me . But well , i have to hide it , a nd forget it aites ? but nw that we're nt in good terms , i wish to forget and hide it . i really wish to . You ARE More Than Just A Girlfriend . "